marriage/monogamysex

Responsive Desire in Women: If You’re Never In The Mood That’s Normal

One common misconception that I help couples clear up in marital therapy is that women and men should both be turned on prior to sex.  This makes no sense if you have ever been a woman.  For women in monogamous relationships, waiting until you are turned on to even start …

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depressionmarriage/monogamy

You Can And Should Cheer Up Your Partner

It is very trendy to say nowadays that people are responsible for their own moods, mental health, behaviors, and so forth.  Certainly, we all have free will, but the idea that a person does not impact their partner’s emotions is nonsensical.  Stemming from this fallacy, though, is the idea that …

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datingdivorce and stepfamiliesmarriage/monogamyMen

“Men Don’t Like High Achieving/Earning Women” Is Not True

Many of my clients are high achieving and high earning people.  While males in this situation consider it an obvious benefit on the dating market to be perceived as having a high powered job and disposable income, my female clients in this situation often fear that it will be held …

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datingmarriage/monogamysex

Faking Orgasms Is A Good Way To Ruin Your Relationship

Many women think that faking orgasms, or telling their husband they enjoyed sex when they didn’t, is a good way to make him happy and doesn’t hurt anyone.  This is extremely wrong.  Every lie about your sexual satisfaction, needs, preferences, or experiences is another nail in the coffin of your …

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marriage/monogamysex

Why Couples Don’t Share Love And Care Sexual Fantasies With Each Other And How To Change That

Many sex therapists and couples counselors, as well as magazines like Cosmo (not knocking Cosmo, the sex instructional manual for me and my friends in the 2000’s), advise couples to tell each other their fantasies in order to be closer and spice up their sex life.  Yet, so few people …

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marriage/monogamyMensex

Your Husband Can Show The Vulnerability You Want… But It Starts In Bed

Many women are frustrated and sad about their husband’s lack of vulnerability and emotionality, as well as his dismissiveness.  A common dynamic in this situation is what I term Mr. Perfect And His Crazy Wife.  This is when man always acts like everything is fine, he’s great at coping with …

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couples counselingmarriage/monogamysex

Sex Life Problems Indicate Relationship Problems

Couples often believe that sex is a completely different area from the rest of the relationship.  Unfortunately, not only is this untrue, but this perspective can be harmful to relationships.  Sex is just another type of connection, and the same issues that are evident in a couple’s intimate life are …

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marriage/monogamyMensex

Is Foreplay A Big Enough Part Of Your Sex Life?

The longer I work with couples, the more I am convinced that the large majority of people never reach anything close to their full potential for sexual pleasure.  Even couples who are otherwise happy often feel dissatisfied about their sexual connection, knowing something is amiss even if they can’t articulate …

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datingdivorce and stepfamiliesmarriage/monogamyMen

4 Things Men Look For In Women Post-Divorce

After reading this post on how women like more sensitive men after divorce, a reader asked how men’s priorities and preferences change when they are looking for partners post-divorce.  Comparing my clients before/during their first marriage and after divorce/in their second marriage, I have observed a few key ways that …

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marriage/monogamyMensex

Men: Avoiding Conflict Is Sabotaging Your Sex Life

Many men compulsively avoid conflict or confrontation with their wives.  They like to keep their head down and not rock the boat, because they are terrified of displeasing her. They try to take everything off her plate to make her happy, not understanding how this increases disconnection and lowers her …

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