anxietycouples counselingdepression

Going To Therapy Is Easier Than You Think

In my podcast episode on Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families, I mention that it is easy to go to therapy (especially now that most people offer teletherapy) but hard to make the decision to go to therapy.  I would like to expand on this for all the people who follow …

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couples counselingmarriage/monogamysex

Would Your Partner’s Peers Think They Are Lucky To Have You?

Many people act like they are being the best partner they can be, but they are really just staying inside their comfort zone. They may think they are being kind or even selfless, but if you look closely, but they are still not taking their partner’s own desires and love …

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couples counselingmarriage/monogamy

Are You Overfunctioning In Your Marriage Because Intimacy Is Uncomfortable For You?

Many times women don’t feel taken care of by their partners, and I’ve written about that here and here. I’ve also addressed it in a podcast episode here.  A lot of those women are overfunctioners, which you can read about here. To sum a lot of that up, if you …

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couples counselingmarriage/monogamy

What Do You Struggle With That Can Help You Understand Your Partner’s Struggles?

Often, couples come into counseling because of problems with empathy.  One person just “doesn’t understand” how their partner acts or feels the way they do, and this lack of understanding manifests as condescension, irritation, frustration, infantilization, and a host of other outcomes that erode the closeness in the marriage.  Here …

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addictioncouples counselinginfidelitymarriage/monogamy

Today’s Cheaters May Be More Compulsive or Addicted Than In Prior Years

My Masters’ thesis was on smoking cessation, and one interesting fact from that body of research was that more of today’s smokers are extremely addicted versus the smokers of a generation ago.  (This held true in 2006 so I’m sure it’s even more relevant today.) This was because smoking elicited …

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borderline personality disordercouples counselingdepressionmarriage/monogamy

Why Your Wife Will Never Say She’s Wrong

Many men tell me that their wives will never admit they are wrong, and honestly I see this more than the gender inverse in couples counseling.  Many women struggle with admitting they are wrong, and instead of this being a narcissistic issue (although certainly sometimes it is), it really stems …

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addictioncouples counselingdatingmarriage/monogamy

When You And Your Spouse Meet While Partying

Many couples that I work with struggle with the same issues as couples who started in long distance relationships, but they were never long distance!  I wondered what these other couples all have in common and realized that, often, these couples share a history of fairly constant “partying” aka binge …

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couples counselingmarriage/monogamysex

Sex Needs To Be Worked On AT THE SAME TIME As Emotional Issues In Couples Counseling

Many couples therapists assume that if emotional issues are hashed out, like communication and trust or even division of household tasks, then the happier couple will then have a better sex life. This magical result doesn’t happen in the vast majority of cases, because once the communication is better and …

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couples counselingdivorce and stepfamiliesmarriage/monogamy

Divorce Is A Great Time To Examine Your Contribution To What Went Wrong

Divorce is very sad and stressful, so the first impulse of many people is to hunker down out of self-protection.  This frequently means that they become highly guarded and defensive, blaming their partner for everything that went wrong.  If you do this, not only will it be harder for your …

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couples counselinginfidelitymarriage/monogamy

How To Have Opposite Sex Friends Post-Infidelity

I work with many couples struggling to rebuild their relationship in the aftermath of infidelity.  One issue that these couples have to navigate is how the betraying spouse can have opposite sex (or same sex, if not heterosexual) friends while maintaining boundaries.  This is particularly salient for people who have …

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